Source: Martin Beck Nworah
If I am to be in a romantic relationship with an undergraduate, I will 100% take care of the financial cost involved in keeping the relationship going. I cannot expect her to contribute any money in whatsoever manner at all.
If she is to do anything and asks for money, I’ll make provisions for such and my reason is quite simple.
I do not expect my undergraduate girlfriend who survives on stipends and monthly allowance from her family to also use that money and fund relationship. Not at all. Let her use it to buy books, food and other important things she needs in school while I take care of other financial matters to oil our relationship.
For the Son of Nebu, the stand above would be different if I was dating a lady who is unemployed. My first task would be to help her find a job or source of income in areas she is capable of being productive and contributing to the progress of society.
I will not expect her to suggest ways or places we can go to chill and chop life. That would be an anathema! I expect her to work with me so we can sort out her pressing life issue, get her something doing before we can progress to making other plans to chop life and spend money.
If she decides to end the relationship after she must’ve gotten a job, then I’ll lick my wounds and take solace in the fact that I have helped to reduce one number out of the over 30 million unemployed people in Nigeria; which has become the Poverty and Unemployment capital of the world.
Lastly, if I was dating a lady who is fully employed or engaged in activities that brings income to her, I fully expect a certain level of financial commitment to our romantic relationship.
I will state this clearly and make it known to her that for this relationship to work, we need to be committed in all ramifications, financially being one of them.
In the three scenarios above, my approach was different given the life standing of the person I was dealing with. This is also the case in real life and for many people.
Do not date someone who is not earning and expect them not to burden you with their financial needs. In fact as you’re courting someone who isn’t earning, you should understand they have needs that need to be met financially. Knowing this will help you figure out if you can handle their demands and how to approach such people with your romantic proposal.
No one answer fits all at the end of the day and know who you’re dealing with before picking random relationship advice that will hurt you.
If you can, work with the person in your life and balance out your lives in the best way possible to make your relationship awesome.
In all you do, just make sure whoever you’re dealing with is on the same page with you, to avoid, “But did I ask you to sacrifice anything or make those expenditures for me?”
As for the Son of Nebu, highway people like me don’t fall in love while in active duty. I’ll do that once I retire from my post.
Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.
Martin Beck Nworah – Page